This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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