The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
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i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
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I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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