Whoa Z and x make the same sound
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
