we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
