I'm gonna have a badass scar
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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