Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
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So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
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I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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