Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
