you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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