im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
