On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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