Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
