thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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