hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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