All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Girls should come with a carfax report
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Randomize
