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• (214): View more from Texas

  Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Did he leave or is he still there?

  (334): View more from Alabama

  He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's like my freshman wet dream come true

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents

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• (850): View more from Florida

  For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak

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• (310): View more from California

  Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)

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