so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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