Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize