i will never coherently bang her
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Randomize
