Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
