You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
