At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
