FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)