Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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