so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
