Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
