East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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