My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
