Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
