Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
