I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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