THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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