Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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