3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Randomize