Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize