Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
