....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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