Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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