I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
