My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
