Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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