You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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