you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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