I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
