i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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