eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
