I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
