Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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