Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
