I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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