You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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