puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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