They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
