just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
