so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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