dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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